MIRROR MASK

In a civilization ruled by light and darkness Neil Geiman and Dave McKean (creators of "Coraline") meld live actors and animated ones to portray the existance of a fifteen year old girl named Helena (Stephanie Leonidas). Working with her family`s circus, she wishes she could run away and join real life. Instead, she finds herself on a strange quest into "the Dark Lands," where with the help of the juggler Valentine (an important man with his own tower) she must recover the charm and restore the balance.

 This 2005 fantasy film is from Jim Henson Pictures, with music composed by Ian Ballamy. Notably, the musical contributions of Josephine Cronholm brought an intresting touch of silky sad but certainly odd and somewhat discomfiting tone to the already amazing dimensionality we found ourselves adrift in, and yes, "I too felt myself lucky to have seen it at all."

THE LUNATIC

This Jamaican film released in 1991 is a tale of the lunatic (village madman) Aloysious (Paul Chambers). Based on a novel by Anthony C Winkler, it is told from a Jamacian perspective with careful attention to Jamacian dialect and the ambiance of village life. "The Lunatic" follows village idiot Aloysious who talks to trees, cows, bushes, even cricket balls, and his best friend the huge hard tree he usually sleeps under. When the busty German nymphomaniac Inga (Julie C Wallace) captures his heart the bush warns him but, her pum pum power has him wrapped up tight. Directed by Lol Creme this child like romp had me rooting for my hero Aloysious Ideomatic Gossamer Impracticable... and hopping he could shake off the tyrany of the rule of the pum pum.

Aparently someone has gone to considerable effort to eradicate all clips, trailers, and even images from YouTube, IMDb, and even MSN. I found this washed-out looking poster, but there's no telling how long it'll be allowed. As of this August 30 2011 update, the movie is still accessible on Netflix Instant View list, wohoo! 

AS IT IS IN HEAVEN

It is now that my life is mine. I`v got this short time on earth. These are a pair of lines from Gabriella`s song shown with the credits at the end of the movie. In this 2004 Swedish film directed by Kay Pollak, Daniel Daréus (Michael Nyquist) a world famous conductor at the height of his career returns to the small village of Norrland where he grew up. Physically and emotionally in need of a new start, he is nonetheless unable to refuse to at least have a listen to the local choir. Reluctantly he agrees to work with them, and is caught up in their lives as he shares his life-long joy of music. Daniel`s life and the people of Norrland will never be the same.

This Oscar nominated film written by Kay Pollak, Anders Nyberg, Ola Olssen, Carin Pollak and Margaretha Pollak, is one of my favorites. The music was beautiful and the story was heart warming. However the beauty and warmth don`t shield us from the dark memories of childhood bullying or the enmity and jealousy that still swirls around him as his work with the chior becomes a threat to the status quo of the tiny insular village in the far north of Sweden.

THE THIRST BLOOD WARS 2008

No, not the Polish MMORPG. Nah, this was much harder to find the skinny on. Written by Ramesh Thadani and directed by Tom Shell. Pinning down who was who was made challenging by way of no findable full cast list. Julien (Tony Todd) was head plum munching vampire. Dam , what`s up with a bunch of fruit eatin vampire witches? I`m sure I tried to watch this movie at least once before. I must`ve missed the beginning last time or I`d have bailed too soon to even recognize it this time. Our hero Nick Holmes (Jason Pierce) is a pacifist, hippie, college student turned reluctant Tia Che Dancin, vegetarian, vampire. We got a bunch-o fruit eatin vampire witches and Darren (Cameron Zeidler) roid raging redneck fraternity warlock (he was hiding his face in the only cast list I could find). Ok, I admit I didn`t last thirty minutes on my first attempt at viewing this ham-handed, college vampire, "classic." But the not so vague similarities to "Cirque Du Freak" tweaked my imagination enough for me to give it another chance.

Seems to me like sombody took a copy of this scipt ard sat down with a red pencil and a type writter and went, love it, lose it, love it, lose it, uh huh. Now all it needs is Dewey Cox, a bigger budget, spiders, a freak show, and an ending. Voila "Cirque Du Freak!"

OINK OW! BLOG HOG COMMIN THROUGH OINK

Man these aisles are tight! Ok so maybe it isn`t fair for me to rate every cool sounding movie whose name I find onna list. But is it fair not to be able to mention one just because I wasn`t tuff-enuf to hang in there till the very end? Under the "Movies You`ll Love" on the netflix page I have rated 3,403 movies so far. That doesn`t mean I`ve had time (or interest) enough to watch any where near, all of, that many movies. It doesnt take an hour or two to tell that you don`t wanna be some places, and rather than a review those are only a rating. More of a way to keep from stepping in something icky again and again than a description

Still even though I don`t wanna watch enough for a fair review, some of these were trippy enough to be memorable, if not something I`d recommend. The first one to pop to mind in this regard falls into the Japanese horror category, but damn! After looking into a few of it`s clips on YouTube I had to rethink even quoting the name. Talk about stepping in something something icky. The grisly clips I just found were enough to make me rethink the whole idea of proffering the names of movies I couldn`t stomach watching all the way through. It`s quite possible that they were even worse than the one I just now almost foisted on my unsuspecting readers, oy!

Ok so I`ll continue watching them before calling attention to them. It`s embarrassing enough to admit I didn`t bail on some of these I did watch. If it sucks don`t watch it. Just because somebody had the money and time to make it into a movie doesn`t mean it`s worth a crap, and if you think it`s awful now it`s libel to get worse inna minute. You`ve gotta watch out what you allow people to pour into your head. Like Monk said, " You`ll thank me later."

TiMER

Oona (Emma Caulfield) had her Timer installed at puberty, 15 years ago, and it still hadn`t begun to count down. This was a deceptively ordinary feeling movie. Oona (who also played Anya on Buffy The Vampire Slayer) was a plesant enough girl, but now approaching 30 she was getting a little obsessed about her Timer. The Timer was a" mostly painless" implant installed at a TiMER boutique," If you don`t have the timer you`re not really trying to find true love."

Weirdly funny and at the same time a little too close to home. As if dating wasn`t complicated enough, the Timer guaranteed to tell the date and time you`d find your"one and only," ow no pressure. This 2009 movie written and directed by Jac Schaeffer is his film debut. A damn nice first up, even if it did sneak out there, I gotta feeling it`ll be fun for quite awhile yet.

THE COLOR OF MAGIC

I`ve got to say "The Color Of Magic" was excellent. Directed by Vadim Jean and writen by Terry Pratchett and Vadim Jean it was released in the UK in 2008. "The Color Of Magic" begins with a chance meeting of Ankh-Morpork`s oldest and worst student wizard and the city`s first tourist.

Forced by the uncannily well informed Patrician Lord Havelock Vetinari (Jeremy Irons) the incompetent and cynical wizard Rincewind (David Jason) involuntarily becomes a guide for naive tourist Twoflower (Sean Astin). Accompanied by his trusty Sapient pear-wood trunk Twoflower is determined, with Rincewind`s help, to see all the most memorable sights Ankh-Morpork has to offer.